Being in a relationship not easy, everyone knows that. What puts a huge strain on a relationship is when your partner begins to feel like you are no longer supporting him, but are suddenly in competition with him. Reading the subtle signs that this is becoming a problem can help you nip this problem before it is too late.
This can be a real problem in relationships between people who are both ambitious and competitive. By the time you notice it, it may have already driven a wedge between you and him. Rori Raye describes "boy energy" as that aggressive approach that women use to achieve great things. This 'boy energy' can completely wreck your relationship. It is important to avoid letting this happen by paying attention to the warning signs.
It should be easy to tell if this is a problem for you. He may suddenly shy away from competitive activities, like board games or exercise. If he declines your invitations to participate in competitive activities consistently, you can be sure that there is trouble in paradise.
It doesn't take much to step on his toes, really. If you interrupt his stories with anecdotes of your own, he is going to feel as though you are putting yourself before him, and publicly humiliating him as well. Making jokes at his expense will have the same effect.
In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.
You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.
You can turn things around before they become critical if you just take the time to notice this problem as soon as it begins. As long as you take the time to consider what it would feel like to be in his shoes, you will be able to understand why this is a problem. No one likes to be one-upped, especially by their mate! Next time a competitive situation arises, be encouraging and supportive. Be generous and kind rather than selfish and self-serving. By making his victories your own, your relationship will thrive by being mutually supportive and loving.
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